strange picture story?

tell us, what's the story behind those pictures?

idea/inspiration: blackberry apps

DAWN PATROL 3 1 LEVIATHAN 2 AS

 

In a stunning example of life imitating politics, while out on their boat "Fidelity III" Dubya's anchor got stuck. Now here's how important a man the president of the US is, when your boat anchor gets stuck you can sit there forever or cut it loose. When POTUS has such a problem you just call for the Secret Service to get divers out to wriggle it free. I wonder how much that little scenario cost American taxpayers? You know those middle class and poor ones who still pay their share.





I can't help but make the comparison to what the world would have been like if Joe P Kennedy had been president in say 1940 ousting Roosevelt and plunged us into an irrational peace with Nazi Germany and their allied Japanese friends. Would such isolation and the slaughter that would have risen from the Japanese march from Manchuria to to steps of the Taj Mahal to greet the awaiting Panzers giving the Axis lordship over half the world in a true sense have been greater than or equal to the blunders being made by Bush and his neocon ministers and corporate masters? What would have been a price great enough for Joe P to sell out the American people, their children and their freedoms in the name of "homeland security?" I think holding the office itself would have been enough for Joe P but for Bush and those who elevated him to the Oval Office making him the very first illegitimate pretender to the highest elected office in America their were far too many hungry mouths he had to fill with the flesh and blood of Iraqi women and children that these creatures of capitalism would digest into into gold coin. If I wanted to marry my girlfriend that is a behavior somehow destructive to America and its way of life but hocking the limbs of 10 000 young men and women and the lives of nearly 4 000 is ethical?




America has a choice, face it's deep issues of race and class, and resolve them, not just pay them lip service, or be cast into the ash heap of history leaving the shadow of an ostrich that was just having too good a time with its trinkets to care about the scythe bearing down on its neck."--Lord Just Mandier, "Notes in the Margin of History," pp.256-7.




"It's for her, of every hue, and on every continent, and the millions of hard working good people like her parents all over Terra, no matter their worship or wealth, who want a better Living Future for themselves and their Spawn, that I wield my pen as a sword and my keyboard as a truncheon."--Cavalor Epthith.

All this anchor pulling on speedboats brings me to another topic that has been on my mind of late. No not bukkake, I'll leave that to Schwartz, but the topic of the dissolution of the power of the middle class. It seems that every half decade or so another hard won right shared across line of color and geography is chipped away at and broken off by the ruling elite. First the ruling on discrimination suits, then the school segregation decision, now rules governing monopolies. Advertising agencies are targeting a more and more young audience of middle class children as they squeeze hardworking parents farther beyond their needs and deeper into the morass of debt that must be crossed carrying a load of wants. If the best and brightest among the middle class can fall to such a constant pounding of debt and desire than what ill educated human being can take up shield and spear and defend themselves. If you take away the threat that they will not spend and replace it with they must spend or they will feel their lives have no purpose then the entire mechanism of supply and demand has been turned on its head. The rules have been changed in the middle of the game and are now truly based on the willingness to go into deeper debt for the illusion of happiness rather than saving in the hope that happiness can be generated not from wants but from the great have of the health and togetherness of one's family.




The rush to make these changes also comes in the wake of the news that certainly shocked many of the people who fling the word "nigger" far more haphazardly with malicious intent than we do (generally we use the word only when it applies and to describe the action of an individual regardless of his or her pigmentation) that Barack Obama has raised nearly $ 32.5 million (h! ) in the last quarter for his presidential campaign. When you can rake in that sort of dough you do not need to be Mr Perfect sound bite every evening on Katie's sinking newscast. All you really need to do Mr Obama, is to show up and not be George W Bush.


One of the few things that seems to be sticking to Obama from right wing critics who may eventually have to slur the man racially to keep him out of the White House and by doing so destroy the last shred of credibility their dying party has, is his lack of experience because curiously the same lack that Lincoln had and Kennedy had did not stop them on their marches to the White House and subsequently into American iconic history. Lincoln, the gangly outsider, a man with little direction in his life at early adulthood became a focused and primed source of strength for the Union cause. Kennedy, his well helled polar opposite if there ever was one spent his last blood for America and a vision of it that has been raped, beaten and all but murdered by the Bush Administration. So in Barack Obama I can see a future that may begin as a hope that will become a plan and will culminate in a resurgence of ideals that the democratic party, and America, can use as a spring board away from the "war years of the early 21st Century" toward the teens and a rapprochement between America and Europe as the haves of Terra and the billions among emerging nations shucking off the imposed mire of have not status.

DAWN PATROL 4 1 LEVIATHAN 2 AS

 

I am actually in the office this morning mulling over some of the things you Yanks do not wish to think about as you plan for your mid week holiday. The plain simple truth is I am a demon and I enjoy thinking about subjects that humans choose to relegate to the far edges of their consciousness as it were. Death is a big one and among those many of the things that can cause their shuffling off of this gossamer mortal coil. You have even made up words for people who bring up serious matters rather than go with the flow or let the good times roll. As if good times would be round. You call these people buzzkills or party poopers, but in Hell they just call us demon journalists, demon solicitors, demon analysts or the like.


One topic that might come up in a few places where the beer is cold is the crippling incompetence and criminality of the Bush administration. They have an agenda it just has nothing to do with middle class people grilling bovine meats in their yards with their in laws and everything to do with the elites that employ murderous tactics to keep such sheeple in line. But tomorrow is supposed to be a good time so unless you want to run off your smarmy republican in laws, relatives, husband's friends, I would steer clear of the Bush administration altogether.


"Is it just me or has Bush aged ten years in the last six months? Must be all that surging and personally protecting the Amurrican people from the troika of evils of breast feeding, pigeons and of course, tourism. Then again it could be all the cocaine and Wild Turkey"--Fred Schwartz, guest on Hellac Public Radio program Boiling Oil with Consuelo Gresham.





The Iraqi Civil War, or as I like to call it now the War to Destroy the US Army by sending them to Iraq, another topic for discussion that will cause frowns on the faces of Americans with thin lips. I would just stick to gossip about the ethnic makeup of your cousin Cheryl Lynn's new boyfriend. With all those stars and stripes stuck in the ground and waving from porch flag mounts who really wants to consider the maimed and killed in a country that has no effect on American materialism anyway? I am sure the howled phrase, "My beer is cold so we're winnin' the war on terror!" will rise up like steam from a boiling cauldron of Frogmore Stew more than once in the American South.



There are times I think it would have been a better punishment for the South to have kept the Union soldiers there through 1915 or so and ground the spirit of plantation owners down to dust. That might have broken the neck and back of Jim Crow and changed the landscape of America's racial and social history ever so slightly. What a simple lot these people can be especially when their radical ideas are challenged by commonsense reasoning. Have more babies, keep US in power, through your numbers or a greater Holocaust comes that is too horrifying to contemplate,"; this is the true terrorism as perpetrated by the white elite on Terra.



Then there is always terrorism, but that could drag you back to Bush. I am truly at a loss maybe you could just cook your hot dogs and boil your callenectes sapidii and have a good time because in the future such happy times may be because of Bush and his poorly thought out coup against the Constitution such times may be a matter for history books before too long.

DAWN PATROL 5 1 LEVIATHAN 2 AS

 

Hedge funds.


Just the mere mentioning of the phrase sends the human mind in a variety of directions. As much as Americans and other massively well heeled investors would like to think these organs of investment for the uber-wealthy have been around for nearly six Terran decades. Currently, hedge funds operate outside the rules that govern pension funds or mutual funds and even some of those have broken the rules to attract more clients and appear better of than they actually are. You know me to be a Soul's Advocate not an investment analyst so I am sure you are wondering why a matter like hedge funds could be weighing so heavily on my mind. The answer is simple; hedge funds have become the greatest engine of theft from the middle class in the last decade and will continue to be until they cause a major collapse in global financial markets.

"How are these hedge fund operators not terrorists of a kind? Who causes a greater threat to the middle class them and their wealthy brethren or Osama bin Laden?"--General of the Skies Nuulo Isdrix, Daily Press Briefing, 169 Low Lux Negro 1 AS.






I have noted in the past few weeks the mainstream media has been casting a wide net of doubt and concern to the hoi polloi regarding hedge funds. That is not the kind of danger that I am offering for if people who had say, less than $1 000 000 to invest could get in or those with $20 to invest were welcome at hedge funds then this article would need never to have been written. Hedge funds are dangerous because of the nature of the people who have access to them and to a venue for corrupt practice fiscally. The super rich playing in a field of lucre without any oversight is exactly why hedge funds will become the anchor around the neck of both the NYSE and the NASDAQ and will carry them both down to Davy Jones' Locker within the next five years as predicted by the Oracle at Acheron on 129 Low Lux Negro 1 AS. The damage that such a collapse a pullout of hundreds of billions of dollars from the very bricks that hold the trading mechanisms of the NYSE and the London Stock Exchange together for so long is mind boggling and even would dwarf the Oracle points out the conversion of petroleum contracts from dollars to euros.





So there has to be some regulation on these funds or the collapse from tinkering with the works is sure to come. Over time the rich always carve out a niche for themselves where they can reap the benefits of being rich and make those less cruel and cunning, greedy and arrogant pay their freight. I do not hate people because they amass great wealth that would be as fool hardy as hating the Creator for the sins that send you to Hell. But what I do hate is the manipulative bond that ties the wealthy together in the us against them paradigm that is certainly charting a course for a slow and very suffering filled destruction of the human race at the cost of a copper coin every second for every living human soul. But the rich don't care my friends they just want to be richer because they are "hedging" that I am not speaking to you from Hell right now and that their only punishment for living a life of excess at the expense of all others is to moulder in a grave or have the ashes of their body cast to the winds to rejoin the cycle of life in some other form.




O that such dreams could be reality and the needs of the dying poor would not crush the puffed out chests of the rich in Hell that I see now under the careful tending of Haxax Carnido, The Torturer General of Hell, every whimper from a suffering child in Iraq would bear the weight of a Spanish galleon over filled with gold dubloons on the soul of that rich man who was stuck in the ways of greed!

MAYBE I WAS HASTY IN GIVING OUT THAT DARWIN AWARD

 

Who leans over a mortar box filled with professionally packed fireworks?

Danialle Barse a worker at a car wash in Melvindale, MI who is not and was not trained in the handling of professional grade munitions as entertainment. Her death by leaning over a mortar box filled with three inch fireworks and being struck in the head is now a case for the US Department of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms. Her fiance and twin sons were watching and the missile struck her head.


Is there a shittier way to die than drowning in 18 inches of "liquefied cow manure?"


It appears the entire Showalter family of Bridgewater, VA were overcome by methane gas before drowning in the farm's manure runoff pit. Scott Showalter passed out and his wife and children climbed into to the pit and they too subsequently perished.

CAVALOR EPTHITH: 8 THINGS YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

 

We have been tagged once again by Katie Schwartz, Hell's favorite engorged beige labia, as Valeri Dubov puts it, to tell the Living 8 things they do not know about ourselves. You can find the rules by clicking this link.




1) I have an excellent singing voice according to the people who hear me singing in my office. Now the opinions of a human being that works for me does not carry much weight but when I see someone weeping because I was singing their favorite song and they say my voice is, "So pretty," well that is enough to make this blue headed demon journalist shut up and agree.





2) I enjoy a good game of chess. I am not that good but the challenge of the movements fascinates me. The fact that my long time friend Albert Einstein and I can sit over a board for five hours say nothing and yet communicate volumes and then have tea is breathtaking.





3) I love Brussels sprouts and snack on them like candy in my office. Nothing can set a demon's digestive tract to rights like some raw sprouts.





4) I have very acute vision even for a demon. My parents marveled at having me read a sign from a mile or so away when I was a little whelp which explains why I was reading at a level well beyond that of first year demons at my fundamentals school.



5) I have clumsy days. Every Terran month or so I will just be unsafe around breakable objects or anything filled with liquid. The condition lasts for a few hours and then I am back to my deft self. I have a sign outside my office one of those kind of the Doctor is in or out kinds of things except mine says "Today is Clumsy Day." The other side is a picture of a mug of metjuizy.






6) I believe in formulating friendships with my workers. I have had junior staff, reporters, senior people like Tomlinson and Schwartz over to my home for dinner parties. We talk about issues not about the management of the paper and most that leave feel refreshed with an insight into how my wife and cambia live and what our values and ideas are.





7) I think cats are tasty. I know all you Living humans are gasping and maybe even DCup is prepared to disown me. But the Pussies for Peace are safe from both my claws and fangs for there is always plenty on the menu at Vulca. I might have a roast Persian for dinner tonight if Carol and I can find a sitter. Mom if you are reading this . . .





8) I was always attracted to human women especially those with wide hips as everyone who knows my wife will say is her most prominent ASSet. I am proud of the Lady as she has dropped 35 pounds since giving birth. How you ask, weights on a treadmill for the ten mile walk every morning, religiously, if you will and one hundred sit ups a day. My wife is now 6'1" 171 pounds and lucky for me she wishes to have more children, just not right this minute.

DAWN PATROL 7 1 LEVIATHAN 2 AS

 

A response to Mark Noonan of Blogs for Bush . . .







I find it very curious that right up until the middle of the Johnson administration the only nation on Terra that might have been more anti Semitic in its daily practices than Nazi Germany in 1936 was the United States of America. True that Truman was quick to recognize the fledgling and endangered new Israeli state in 1948 but that was certainly not out of the groundswell of support from common men and women in the streets on either side of the Potomac. The idea that Soviet Russia might have been the first to make that call and thereby giving communists a greater foothold in Israel did strike fear in the hearts of the Truman administration.





I think Ahmadinejad is a fool for denying the greatest human evil of the 21st century in a cockeyed effort to rouse sympathy for the Palestinian cause. The question I would ask the certain one term President of Iran would be if there was no Israel and the Palestinians occupied all that land how long would it take for the entire region to descend into the sort of conflict America has fomented upon Iraq? What we are seeing through these proxy wars is the same meddlesomeness the Soviets used to destroy Afghanistan as a going concern and now the Americans will do the same to Iraq.







Michael Moore is right about health care in a nation that creates so much wealth for its elite but truer still if that middle and working class were healthier and more active they would be able to rise and demand more money for their energies something that the elite and the ruling class are not willing to share with those economically not as well off. I understand that these massively wealthy companies both Big Insurance and Big Pharma spend millions of dollars on supporting politicians on both sides and this alone should be a clue that they serve no master but one of gold and are the puppet masters of what should be a great democracy.






For the hollow heads who think that the great documentarian Michael Moore is somehow in league with the Persian foe well because that is what the whackos on the right want to believe, read the words slowly. The Iranians invited Moore he did not ask to come and at this time I have no idea if he plans to go. I would hope Sean Penn would go to Iran early and often to show Americans that the world is not merely their oyster to eat or discard. Noonan I wonder how many of your readers realize that it is American doctrine to destroy the whole of Terra in a nuclear holocaust rather than have the US subjugated by an invading army even if that army only uses conventional weapons. You are so special you would rather kill the entire planet rather than serve a master. What does that tell you of slavery, Ser?







And by the way Noonan in a world where blowback has become a common occurrence vis a vis American foreign policy I would begin to step away from the megaphone of rhetoric regarding anything closely associated with the Iranian government. They have quite enough to settle as far as scores go with the United States having so much enjoyed embarrassing the US by holding hostages for 444 days and even manipulating a US presidential election.

PERJURY TRAPS AND THE SHRIEKS OF THOSE CAUGHT IN THEM

 

Former President William Jefferson Clinton was likely the greatest victim in the history of American politics of the perjury trap. And I don't mean the trap set by a Senate Committee to get at the truth that allegedly "forces" one to tell lies to protect key players in government corruption. I mean a trap left by a special prosecutor when knowledge of a fact is not shared with those being accused. It is a perversion of discovery that anyone can fall victim to but is most alluring when the trapped is a high ranking political figure. I. Lewis Libby will never spend a minute in jail for taking the fall for the crimes that were committed in the Office of the Vice President. Dick Cheney will never spend a minute in prison for the multiplicity of crimes that he has committed against the America people their rights and civil liberties. He may be Impeached, but he will never go to prison. But all of this is okay with me personally and is even okay with the government of the Hellac Empire. While Living human beings are impatient and have the irony taste for blood in their mouths when such glaringly obvious breaches of Constitutional ethics take place; we here in Hell have literally, all the time in the world.










One day, both Cheney and Libby will pass out of Life and through Death and will come like all others do from the clouds splashing into the Callugo Sea. They will be judged there by the Magistrate according to their acts while Living and their sentence will be meted out. Hell has no provisions against cruel and unusual punishment because those words do not apply to the means by which Justice deferred must be compensated for freedom while Living. This is the hedge that all men of ill acts fear in the quiet corners of their hearts and all of those broken on the wheel of greed and lies pray for. The revenge of Hell is Justice in the form of the torture of the truly wicked, the avaricious and the arrogant. More has been done in the United States in the last 25 years to make Hell a place where jurisprudence is a profitable enterprise than any other nation at any other time in human history. There are millions of Roman citizens that go about their daily lives as free men their crimes against their fellow men petty and their grasps for power piteous. But now we find the cross builders hard at work preparing for the day that all those within the Bush administration have passed and many of them face certain fates to hang bound with nails in their hands and feet until time forgets its own cycle and all the suns of the Universe have fallen black and cold. Is corporeal power for such a pointless sliver of time truly worth and Eternal Sentence of Agony hanging from a glowing cross? It seems dear friends that many of those in the White House today and those around Dick Cheney feel it is a fair trade having sold your supporting interest in this cause and placing many of you there beside them. There only advice to you now can possibly be "Stay the Course."

YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING PAKISTAN

 

The Red Mosque siege in Islamabad, Pakistan is moving into its fifth day with more rocket exchanges and shots fired as hard line clerics spur those inside to greater violence and the crowds in the streets call for Musharraf's head. Just today shots were fired at the Pakistani President's aircraft as it flew over Rawalpindi. Pakistan is a nuclear nation not just some backwater where radical Muslims are fighting one another for tribal dominance. A coup d'etat in Islamabad is one thing; a full on civil war would be another. One can be certain that the Indian Army is keeping a close eye on the events as should every American interested in knowing where the nuclear material that could rain down on them one day originated.




Baton Rouge
Military Analyst
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
7 1 Leviathan 2 AS

DIVERTISSMENT 110

 

We, Ourselves, of the Collective, asked a few experts a simple question in search of the Truth.



Can you tell Us one thing the Bush administration has done for the Common Man to their benefit or the benefit of working families over the interests of corporations since they were ushered into office by the SCOTUS in 2000?









Hmm, this is taking longer than We thought . . .



So We decided to ask a prominent Republican businessman who is a well known fiery anti- liberal and frequent financial backer of GOP political campaigns . . .




We thought for sure this guy would fire off a salvo of thing that Bush . . . well maybe not.



So We asked this lady who gazed slightly past her navel in search of what Bush has done to help . . .




Nothing there either, that is very curious.


So We decided to ask Condi Rice surely she has an answer that can satisfy even the most radical left wing . . .








Oh dear!



Rudy can think of something positive Bush has done for sure.






Rudy? Mr Giuliani?! Ser!? That question was not related to divorce in any way unless you consider that he has to divorce himself from Bush's blunders.



Suddenly, Fred Thompson . . .




looks awfully presidential.





Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai' tan
Majordomo of Hell and Terra
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer's Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lord Gaoler of Dis
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Oracle of Elections
Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commander of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff
Order of the Quartz Heart (Eng.)
Count-Palatine of Sheol
Marquis di Gehenna
Emperor Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
7 1 Leviathan 2 AS

TEN REASON WHY A REDNECK PREACHER'S DAUGHTER WILL TURN OUT TO BE A RAGING WHORE OR A REALLY UGLY PORNSTAR IF YOU ARE LUCKY

 

Not safe for work, Christians or those easily offended by people with rational though processes. Thank you!-- Gavlæ Reudo Maxric, Copy Editor.






If I was the young daughter of a preacher who believed in every thing that corporate tool in the White House said and was hip waders deep in white supremacy thinking I would surely run to the nearest Greyhound Bus Station plop down my credit card and head one way to the nearest blue state where I would beg any set of liberal parents to save me from a life of embarrassment and shame. Allow me to not be vague for once in my journalistic career, my boss called me into his office ten minutes ago after reading Doug Giles post at Townhall via the link at the utopia that is Shakesville. He asked me if I had seen it and I said yes and then he leaned that big blue head forward and said the magic words, Gloves off mate, slap the grin fresh off his Chevy Chase!" Well really, Cav said, "I don't care how you do it but rebut this idiot in the strongest terms I can allow." Now here's the part where I can Doug Giles an arrogant misogynist and a redneck cocksucker and seeing Cav nod I'm off to my desk like this preacher's daughters prom dress will assuredly be the first chance she gets. Unless this guy snips her spinal cord himself this girl will be doing the whole Liberty University football team during freshman orientation.




Okay I get to attack this just like the wise and talented Jeff Fecke did at Shakesville. Yeah sloppy seconds I know but this will be fun I promise.






1. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn’t make me happy. Young squire, don’t expect me to be giggly when I meet you. As a matter of fact, you’re ruining my life right now. Therefore, don’t try to be cute with me. That stuff may work on my daughter or my wife, but it does not work with me.





What this guy would rather have his daughter bring a woman home. Look pal you can't have it both ways but I sure could enjoy watching. This is just creepy and begs a question. hey rev are you fucking your own daughters?



2. Thou had better have a life. My wife and I have worked our tails off providing a good life for our girls; therefore, you better have one, Spanky. Let me spell it out for you just in case you don’t get it. You must have something positive going on in that thing you call a life.


Who the Hell you calling Spanky?

So you are setting up your little privileged whores to only respond to those who dangle shiny objects and coins in front of them. Boy those are good values for our little porno princesses isn't it?







3.Thou shall not touch my daughter, or I’ll tear your hands off and you’ll have to “whip the bishop” with a stub. Not only am I not cool with your being around me, I’m sure as heck not down with your touching my daughter. Therefore, when you’re in my space (and in my absence) you’d better treat my daughters with the utmost respect.



I think the Ayatollah Khomeini would have been less ruthless in his imagery than that stump whip the bishop reference. Who proof reads this guys column Ted Haggard?








4.Thou shall look me in the eye, shake my hand like a man and turn off your cell phone. I don’t care how Snoop Dog acts and what you’ve seen on MTV or in the movies. If you come into my house mumbling, with your shades on and texting the entire time you’re around me, you’re probably going to be spending the next couple of days in ICU.

Wow that's rich threats of violence from a white preacher whom my dead lesbian best friend could beat mercilessly to a pulp in two rounds in the ring. The only that will be in ICU will be your daughter after her second boyfriend runs off and she hops in the tub and slices both wrists. Then of course you'll have another litany of "overcoming adversity" sermons to shove down the throats of the sheeple.





5.Thou shall understand that you are a boy talking to a man. Here’s some 411 to meditate upon before you address me. I am at least twice your age. I used to be a drug user/dealer until God zapped me. I’ve been in many fights. I’ve shot at felons. I faced down too-many-to-count charging wild boar. I’ve spent years in Tae Kwon Do. I’ve traveled the planet, planted churches and started businesses. You, on the other hand, use Proactiv and drive a Ford Focus; therefore, you will call me “Mr. Giles” and my wife “Mrs. Giles” until we tell you any different.


Okay that clears up alot he's one of those street wise gift of gab crackers that has pulled himself up with religion. hey pal fuck you! Your daughters are a product of a man lucky enough to turn a parlor trick or two and some speaking skills into a career because people are afraid of Death, the second most natural act that occurs during human life. Your daughters will be doing the number one soon enough, See the Liberty University football team. The again the Crimson Tide do have a new coach.





6. Thou shall know that our family is old school. Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippy, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree humping bull crap. I was raised by country-loving, God-fearing, hard-working, meat-eating, good ole’ Texan parents, and I have zero tolerance for what your long-toothed, rather mannish lesbian sociology teacher at Columbia U programmed you with—you dig?


No I don't dig you troglodyte. Okay go look it up. Fine. Those mannish lesbian sociology teachers are teach half of your race the skills they need so that you can serve your future Hispanic masters better. So stop hatin'!






7.Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts and you shall provide unto me this bounty, if you’re smart. One great way to earn my favor is to buy it. Yes, you’d be shrewd to approach me like the three wise men did baby Jesus, namely with gold, frankincense and myrrh.


Well at least we know your daughters get their natural whoring instincts from Dear Old Dad. The blow jobs from your secretary not enough anymore now you need plasma screens from your daughter's boyfriends? Cigars? Liquor? What the fuck kind of fundie are you pal? A the real one grow in Cuba, cigars not fundies. And exactly what do you boys do when you get all liquored up and smoke your cigars? Do you take your pants off, does your daughter come in the room? Pathetic.






8. Thou shall understand that if you’re dumb enough to tell me a dirty joke, I’m comfortable enough with kicking your butt. I’m not one of your thug buddies you can go down the gutter with. I want maturity when you are around my family.



Well I guess you have heard them all having been a dope dealer and all.






9. Thou shall keep your word. If you say you’re going to do something, then I expect you to do it. You see, I’m looking for stability/reliability for my ladies, and keeping your word in the smallest matters tells me that you’re ahead of the pack and at least a consideration, in my mind, for our support.


Does I promise to beat the living shit out of her and while she's whimpering on the bathroom floor dry fuck her in the ass every night, promptly at 9 o'clock count as keeping my word? I'll let you listen on speaker phone because I promise to call you at 8:55 on the dot. Punctuality is for skinheads I'm more concerned with outcome like don't beat my daughter and fuck her in the ass until she bleeds and can;t shit in a bushel basket but it's okay if you are b15 minutes late to head out to a movie as long as you call first.


Finally . . .








10. Thou shall do these three things: 1) Look good. Do not come into my house with earrings, a grill, or over sized pants with your butt cleavage hanging out. 2) Read. If I have to talk to you, you had better know as much about as many things as possible. 3) Serve. I’m looking for a sacrificial dude who doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty in helping around the house, in our community, in our nation and with our wonderful world. If you, young man, obey all the words written here, then and only then will you have a chance with my babies. Now, go get me a beer.



Oh so its slavery that you are after. I get it you want this kid to not have made the many mistakes that you have but you want him since he's better than you to serve you because you have the pussy that he wants in your house. Dude I'll just go up the street and date the liberal guys daughter he has better porn Cuban cigars and I don't have to kiss his ass or watch his buddies eye rape my girl friend.