Editorials from Hell's leading daily newspaper, The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork

"Of course we will have fascism in America but we will call it democracy!" -- Huey Long.

Huey Long just didn't think big enough. Fascism's here. It's "friendly fascism" and it's called "Liberal Democracy with an historical, transformational kicker."

There is now no reason for the new government to withdraw a single person from Iraq. Why should they? The Iraqis have requested no draw down through 2011. Mumbai has given President-elect Obama license to go far beyond what he proposed in the first debate with McCain. There's not going to be redeployment. Why so stingy with America's bravest young people. The US presence in South Asia will just be ramped up to Iraq levels.

Democrats aren't going to protest. They're going to cheer. Republicans certainly don't mind a bit.
The bailout shell game is going to page 15 pretty damned quick after the inaugural with the focus on "success" in Iraq and South Asia.

Between the US Armed Forces and "contractors" I make it 800,000 to 1,000,000 fighting on behalf of the US by April 2009. If anybody thought post 9/11 jingoism was weird, wait until next spring. At least, there were some voices of dissent when it was Bush moving the chesspieces around. Now, from where will voices of dissent come? A tiny sliver of the Congressional Progressive Caucus. That's it. I'm merely interested in which one will be the target of Jon Stewart's and Keith Olbermann's derision: Kucinich, Lee, Sanders, Whitehouse, Wexler, who?

No, first they pick off the obvious low-hanging Republican fruit: Ron Paul, Jeff Flake, Scott Ritter and Admiral Fallon. Then the wealthy pacifists: Corzine and Dean.

Then they can get around to the House Progressives. I'm thinking in no particular order: McDermott, Woolsey, Kucinich, Lee, Hinchey, Jackson-Lee, Sanchez, Waters, Wexler, Frank (perfect--a two-fer!), Grijalva, Baldwin (perfect--another two-fer!), Olver, Capuano, Ellison (brilliant two-fer of a different kind!), Watson, Schakowsky, Tierney, Stark, George Miller, Towns, Filner, Velasquez, D Davis, Payne, Watson, Slaughter, and of double course John Conyers! Just go to the Congression Progressive Caucus website for your House "enemies list" for 2009 and beyond.

We already know what a big fan of pacifists Cindy Sheehan, Harry Belafonte and Danny Glover Jon Stewart is. It'll take me some time to get creative but I think I can work out some Stewart-style jokes about "ugly" Dennis Kucinich, "fag" Barney Frank, "lesbo" Tammi Baldwin, "Muslim Terrorist" Keith Ellison, "wetback" Linda Sanchez, "old and decrepit" Pete Stark, "Tony Soprano" Mike Capuano...Stewart will be perfect as the new Dennis Miller. The coup-de-grace will be some absolutely hideous joke about the Pat Tillman family. You'll see.

In the Senate, hmm. Right now my choices would be in alphabetical order: Boxer, S Brown, Feingold, Harkin, J Reed, Sanders, Udall, Udall, Whitehouse. If Jim Miller makes it he goes to the front of the line. Cannot have an anti-war veteran when "we're" pro-war now. That's where Olbermann's ersatz "seriousness" is needed -- attacking those traitors with the same venom he used on Giuliani when it was the other side's war.

Every "progressive" political blogger will have the option to know the fun the Religious Right has been having all these years with the war part of the agenda. Watch how many military strategists/enthusiasts show up at Huffington Post and Salon. Everybody laughing at McCain and Palin today six months from now will be wearing flag pins. And in six months, still laughing at McCain and Palin as the corpses pile higher.

You can take that to the bank and borrow against it.

For the slow kids in the back of the class, the "Oliver" is CROMWELL, oiste?

I get it and I'm not blaming anybody. Hell, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Nothing wrong with that. Everybody likes a flag. Everybody likes to play chess, Diplomacy (tm) and Risk (tm). Why shouldn't the Democratic "wets" and their electorate have a little fun? It's all gotten too tediously serious for those guys with the protests and complaints and the peace-love-dove shit. Man, Michael Franti had a brilliant line about this on the "Disposible Heroes Of Hiphoprisy" CD, something like "knowing the EXCITEMENT of arm-chair war". I got to look that up.

Personally, I channel those urges by being a fight fan and occasionally going to see and bet on the birds at La Gallera San Miguelito. Football's cool, too. To each his own, though.

To say that Obama's "lucky" with this does the man a disservice. Luck comes to prepared minds. While I don't agree with him on foreign policy, he was PREPARED for this, yessir. Or maybe the staffing choices were accidental? Does anybody believe that? Nobody as smart as Barack Obama listens to, let alone reads, Doris Kearns Goodwin without some kind of master-plan on the boil.

I know I'm on solid ground here now. I'd like to be proved wrong down the road before too much blood is shed. Otherwise, I gotta find a counterparty who'll deal me an 8-year call warrant on the work-time of Maya Lin and on one big-ass piece of marble.

El Espiritu De La Escalera

Obama Administration brackets update: PAIN & Kelso both get blanked by choice of General James Jones as National Security Advisor. Quite a name the fellow's got especially as the 30th anniversary of the Kool-Aid party was just noted! Kelso awards himself the pro-tem 5-4 lead over PAIN in the game because Robert Mueller is still the FBI Director and may remain so through 2011 asof-right. Two reasonably informative pieces follow. Kelso and PAIN are live with some of their clever ones like Ed Rendell (PAIN) and Shirley Franklin (Kelso).

Breaking wind (braap!): Samantha Power is appointed State Department Advisor. PAIN and Kelso both still live, but Kelso wobbling with his call of her as future Ambassador to Venezuela.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20081125/pl_politico/15986

http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/11/26/1689478.aspx

I'm willing to get back on the Obama bandwagon when by DEED and STATED POLICY he does or says something -- anything -- that makes sense and service the common good.

Had the Democratic electorate been sexually attracted to Dennis Kucinich and had the Republican electorate seen through Walnuts's POW hero bullshit and looked to Goldwater or even Reagan for some inspiration, America could have ended up with a Republican/Democratic or Democratic/Republican fusion ticket of Paul/Kucinich or Kucinich/Paul to run against the Wet Democratic Careerist ticket.

The latter would have won. It would have won smaller. And there's no way President-elect Karen's go-along-get-along policies on war and greed would have stood. He'd have had to be about change. If not "change," then he'd have had to be about the Constitution, GAAP, and the principle of corporate finance. So, please don't hang any bullshit about would I have preferred McCain and Palin on me. Everybody knows I didn't. And even in this fantasy scenario, I'm happy with an Obama who's emboldened to act upon that which he knows.

It's time to stop cheering in the pressbox and to start facing some cold hard facts. There's a very good reason that Obama neither campaigned for Jim Martin nor gave him money. It's because Jim Martin is not Obama's kind of Democrat. Joe Lieberman was and forever will be Obama's kind of Democrat, RNC speech notwithstanding.

But I'm far from done on my rant. President-elect KAREN is about "reaching across the aisle." That's nice. To what end, though? More war, certainly. And the biggest crime every committed in human history, certainly. Me? I don't like to reach across the aisle at all because no reaching is necessary. I'm a conservative. Like Hugo Chavez, Balbina Herrera and Michelle Bachelet are. And like these two fellers are. I'm a liberal like Hugo Chavez Balbina Herrera and Michelle Bachelet are. And like these two fellers are. We need new words desperately. I think Theocratic Authoritarian suits George W. Bush, John McCain and Sarah Palin very well. I think Wet Democratic Party Careerist suits President-elect Karen very well. He's a very bright guy. It's not that he doesn't know. It's just that he doesn't care. Jajaja! He doesn't care how many young Americans die in wars of George W. Bush's choice and Mr Change's expedience. He doesn't care that he's destroying a market-based economic system with rules that backs a system of self-government. He knows just fine.

After all, 4000 Dr Torrance Stephens and Kelso fans can't be wrong. Jajaja!

I'm not in this to be loved. I get it. I'm in this for pretty old-fashioned reasons, because a few folks here who are senior to me (shit, EVERYBODY here is senior to me!), Ser Tommy-Gun, Ser Fredrick Schwartz, PAIN, Its Own Self, and The Boss thought I could do the job.

My job is to be analytical and hang a lot of paper tabloid style so that the fine folks at Wolf Films, for example, have lots of folks in South America watching Law And Order: Criminal Intent on the Chilean/Colombian AXN "La Zona" Network. I'm not a pompous ass.

My father has written for the trades, for the "penny dreadfuls," for the pornos; he's been a stringer, and he's had a sports column in OUI. I know what being a journalist is. He and his friends had some weird Russian-Jewish commie joke in which they called it being a "ural-inist," which I sort of get but not with the delight that they did.

He did his research. He did his interviews. He went where he had to. He filed. He never missed a deadline. It's a whole other trip than Wolf Blitzer or even Bob Woodward.

So, why then is Rod Smart a sometime trademark of my posts? Because come what may, I'm not joining the club. How many of those same youtubes do you think I can find in which both Representative Kucinich and Representative Paul speak of their civil libertarianism, their pacifism, their economic conservatism and the knowledge that informs it, and in the process show a little of the milk of human kindness? 100s.

Your knocks on Representative Paul: once spoke to a John Birch Society Meeting and is a Born-Again Christian (the President-elect is as well). The knock on Representative Kucinich: nobody is sure if in his religion he orients to "new age," "atheism" or "Catholicism" or some blend that works for him. The knock on both: neither are considered physically attractive in Big Sammy.

The knock on the president-elect other than what Kucinich and Paul referred to: his being "tired" of "stale" "Latin" "ideologies" "of the past." Nice.

His complete 180 degree reversal on Plan Colombia because it's important to support the Colombian military in their fight against terrorism and extremism. Any one want a translation of that from "words" into English? "25% of the Colombian cocaine output is purchased by the United States. I feel more secure with the Colombian army and the Paramilitaries controlling the supply because with their profits they can also crack down on the trade union movement. And I know the product will get to the United States with a credible 'war on drugs' figleaf. If the supply chain is disruputed by the FARC and ELN too much cocaine will be diverted to Europe and Japan and those profits will support the trade union movement." Nice.

He hate me. You hate me. 4-ever don't mess. Being hated is good. It makes you strong. If you're strong, you never end up saying weak shit like "stale Latin ideologies" with a straight face.

Kelso's Nuts love you

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