Editorials from Hell's leading daily newspaper, The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork

From left: Anselmo “Chemito” Moreno, your WBA Bantamweight Champ, Celestino “Pelenchín” Caballero, your WBA Superbantam Weight Champ, Ricardo “Maestrito” Córdoba, your WBA Interim Superbantam Weight Champ, as of last night's action at the Figali Convention Center.

Big, big night for San Miguelito and Balbina Herrera, politically. It's hard to explain exactly how important boxing is around here. I'll try. Panama loves and knows Boxing and much and as well as Big Sammy loves and knows Incarceration Of Juveniles With Adults, The Death Penalty, and Homophobia. There are precious few Americans across the board who aren't heavily into Incarceration Of Juveniles With Adults, The Death Penalty, and Homophobia. There are precious few Panamanians who aren't into boxing. If you want to see the cradle of boxing champions, go to "Los Rockeros" gym in Caledonia, CdP. If you want to see the Hall-Of-Fame of Incarceration Of Juveniles With Adults, The Death Penalty, and Homophobia, any street in any small town works. Just open your eyes, ears and mouth and ask anybody his or her opinion on the subjects. I'm sorry to be repetitive but it's really fuckin funny in a dark way when you think about it.

Back on planet Earth, Vasquez, one could say, is to Balbina Herrera what Kelly Pavlik was Hillary Rodham Clinton, but much more so.

Friend of HELL, Robero "La Arana" Vasquez had what was supposed to be a tune-up for his WBA Super Flyweight belt, and he dropped Rodriguez in Round 1, but broke his left thumb. We await x-rays.

That's Kelso Jr, not Felipe Rodriguez, above, with Vasquez. If you're keeping score at home.

Caballero dropped Mejia in Round 1 also. Cordoba won unanimous decision over Luis Alberto Perez. And Moreno (more on this) won a Judge's decision 70-63 through 6 rounds and change. Full results on http://www.boxrec.com/ which is an essential bookmark for any fight fan.

Too bad Ser Tommy-Gun didn't manage to pop up from Hell to have a look because I know she's very big on "Chemito" Moreno. I think Tommy-Gun's appreciation for Moreno is as good an explanation of why professional boxing is kind of dying in Big Sammy as any. From what I understand, the MMA is lot more popular. Tommy-Gun is a real serious fight fan.

The issue is blood, as in real red blood. Down here and among real fight fans, blood is a distasteful part of the sport. Not the main attraction. What I like about the referreeing here is that they are very quick to stop a fight if a kid is getting hurt bad. You watch boxing because you like the sport of boxing. Nobody wants to see a kid lose his career or get maimed. I believe that as great as Floyd Mayweather, Jr, was, US fans never dug his fights because he was not a head-hunter. Floyd Patterson, the same.

"Chemito" Moreno is about as much NOT A HEAD-HUNTER as a champion fighter can be. He's one of the finest counter-punchers you'll ever see, though. Barely a third of his wins have been by KO. But he is efficiency and moves personified. Through the 6+ rounds last night (fight stopped because of incidental cut on Santos's head), Santos must have thrown 800 punches and landed 10%, exactly ONE of the with power. Moreno barely threw 200 and landed 75%. Soft jabs, but every other punch he connected with was solid. And the guy is as graceful as like one of those emaciated girl figure skaters or gymnasts or some shit.

This was the most fun I had all week and it was a seriously nice break from thinking about markets every other waking moment. For some reason, the only other bit of relief from this tits-up has been listening to this song over and over again.

El Espiritu De La Escalera

Ser Carlton Pryor's markets piece did as good a job of expressing my views on what's going on out there as Tom Waits's song did in expressing my state of mind.

I've really had a bee in my bonnet about this. Everything about it makes me angry, frustrated and upset. And it's not the losses. Kelso Jr bore all the losses in a trust he won't see until he's 25 and I'll have a zillion cracks at Big Sammy before he reaches that age, so it's no biggie. I've been through this before. It is irritating that I had no direct Sammy exposure for Junior and still took a beating. What scalds my nuts is that neither the Fed nor any regulator had the slightest interest EVER in estimating AIG's exposure, let alone making them mark-to-market. They were lazy and they don't understand derivative securities and stubbornly refuse to learn how to value them. Yet, fuckin Paulson couldn't get $85 billion into their hands fast enough.

But being able to survive these things is a benefit of living below your means and appreciating life for it's real pleasures -- including the PROCESS of taking down big scores. It's why I buy Barbasol shaving cream and generic Bay Rum aftershave. 1.45 USD/PAB gets me both. It's why I own no car and no jewelry but more than one home with all equity.

The dollar will continue to be good for a while and everything else in the world will suck for a while as banks cash in their winners to do what they can to wash out as much of the red on the balance-sheet elsewhere. They'll be buying back USD shorts and selling all those world currencies and commodities of every sort. Sorry, it'll be a bear market in High-Nitrate Dung until all of the year-end audits for 2008 are ready to go to the printers for mass mailing.

And then I'll pounce at prices I like. I'd say there's an outside chance you'll see the Euro at par. Then the game starts all over again, with crude maybe passing $200/bbl.

I've been so irritated that my son lost money this week for all of the reasons Carl cites, that I forgot to brag about a great opinion I had and offered on this very devil-worshipping porno site. My plan was to bet Obama at some point, but I did not want to try to guess the bottom. All I needed was ONE MOVE OFF THE BOTTOM. When I got it, I fuckin played yessir. I slammed it in good laying -125. You cannot find better than -167 anywhere in the world right now.

I believe that the nauseating and exhausting day-after-day grind of Know Nothingism on display in full cry since that awful woman was chosen as VP nominee by that wretched man is finally over.

So, I got my residual shots in at American liberals already in my Jolly Roger series and by proxy in my incarceration/homophobia references above. I finally am together in the head enough to understand what they mean when they blame "Corporations" and "business" and "Wall Street speculators." They are too smart and too kind-hearted to mean that exactly. They are looking for socially-acceptable American ways to express displeasure with the whole fucking Bush-Palin-God-Bless-America crapola but the populism is the way American liberals do it. Other countries just obey the normal rules of the road. But it's a different story up there and I understand and don't blame.

I'm still not paying attention to anyone's opinions about business, economics and finance who can't even unwind a plain-vanilla interest rate swap or understand why a swap is a portfolio of forward rates. But I want Obama to win. Panama wants Obama to win. Fuck, even Ron Paul wants Obama to win but he can't say it in so many words. So, I'll chill about it.

I will not be chill, however, about the other side: Republicans, Blue Dog Democrats and bullshit artist "independents". They all suck donkey dicks.

Religious people, though, need to shut the fuck up and let Big Sammy modernize socially if it's going to be a serious player in world trade going forward once sanity takes over in economic policy. This is exactly why my kind wins and the Big Pink People lose. We like sex. We have no taboos about it. You think the women's magazines made up the whole business about Jewish dudes loving to eat cunt? We think women absolutely have the right to choose abortion or choose an alternative. Over 10% of us ARE gay. We don't waste our time worrying about that. The diversity makes our tribe stronger. The same idea works on a global level. Social distractions beget trade losses beget social distortion.

The Blue Dogs and the "independents" are merely chickenshit cowards. Tell them what to do with some force and they'll line up. Republicans are another story. I see exactly where this is headed. Another showdown. Achtung, Republicans: Dollyhouse smash up I and you. No more gungu on the line, you know. [nb: I haven't forgotten how to speak Peckham, Ser Carl] It's probably going to be me or me and Kelso Jr or Kelso Jr alone AGAINST some malign aspect of Big Sammy one more time.

I'm ready and the little guy's ready, too.

HOW THE HELL DID I MISS THIS? http://bloggerinterrupted.com/2008/09/national-enquirer-track-palin-a-full-on-oxycontin-addict

Oh, I guess I missed it because the NATIONAL ENQUIRER'S website is all of a sudden velly, velly difficult to access. Gee wizzums, what's the big deal? This is the first thing anyone from that family has done or said that has made any sense at all. So, the Palin boy (the soldier one, not the Bubble Boy) likes snorting coke and oxy and plays Xbox. To me this is logical. Claiming to be able to see a Volga Boatman from your house in suburban Anchorage and thinking that's foreign policy experience is weird. Snorting PowerPuffGirl is a trip to the moon on butterfly wings. The lad's got good taste. For real. He would be an upgrade on his mother as VP nominee on this alone.

Kelso's Nuts love you

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