WINGNUT ROUNDUP 104 COLNU 1 AS

Wingnut Talking Point of the day: Teacher shows Brokeback Mountain in eighth grade class, 12 year old girl traumatized. Grandparents see chance to sue and get big bucks so they can have nicer things. Where is this child's mother and father? Are they drug addicts? Were they both killed in a car wreck or victims of poor life choices? Civilization as humans know it to collapse sometime around noon today, or at least by supper time.




To hear those who support President George W Bush polls do not matter. This sort of delusion is just the kind of running the world with blinders on inanity that drives the bulk of America crazy. Of course polls matter, they are the plumb line by which political analysts and people within the White House judge the effectiveness of their agenda. They are not the whole blood of an administration's report card but they are the plasma, the volume if you will of the direction a two term president's legacy is trending toward. Tomorrow PollingReport will let fly another well collected slew of new polls much like the last one six days ago that show this most unpopular president since Hoover growing nearer to Nixon's impossible 23%. Newsweek just last week had Bush at 28%. Still, those being paid to say nice things about flags and soldiers and the President sally forth toward that inevitability when they will have to lie to be seen as credible after Bush is gone. But for right now we can watch, read and listen to them babble on about how they must achieve victory in Iraq, how robust the economy is and how they have plan for illegal immigration. If you cannot stand to do this yourself, the searching and the clicking for the lunacy we try to bring the best of their worst to you.



The First Howl


We are taken aback by the very first sentence of Carol Platt Liebau's bit on the Mitt Romney: "Must everything be about sex – or at least have a sexual component – these days?" This in an article entitled "Mike Wallace - You've got some nerve." Well I do not know where Ms Liebau was while Mike Wallace was becoming one of America's foremost journalists, then one of America's foremost investigative journalists and finally the elder statesman of the acclaimed CBS News Sunday monolith "60 Minutes" but clearly she was not paying attention to the news during the last few years of the 20th Century. This was a time when President Clinton was the topic of the most famous sex scandal in the history of the Oval Office. In that time sex and immorality was on the lips of every republican in the nation as they saw their chance to seize power fully again on Washington.



I wonder how it is that Ms Liebau can think that the question Wallace asked Romney about whether he had extramarital sex with his future wife, a question which Romney answered "No," with no equivocation, when those she supports politically would have the right to snoop into the private lives of anyone they feel is behaving "immorally" by their standards of leadership? Liebau jumps to the conclusion that Romney would be asked this question because of his religion and thus a Catholic or Protestant would not. I do not see it that way. I think all of them should be asked this question and the GOP being what it is today i think the party could go ahead and claim Romney as their nominee based on that criterion. Since he is where I would place my golden aureus as the only GOP candidate that did not have sex before he was married, at least with his wife which is how the question was phrased.

For the record and to eliminate any nature of hypocrisy I wish to state that I never had enough sex before I was married and now I am blissfully satisfied by my sexually voracious wife who will blush and whack me on the back of the head with a rolled up copy of the very newspaper I edit as soon as she reads this. But that's fine I like it a little rough.



Second Coming


I am certain that when Schwartz writes this column in the future there will be some photograph of a woman with her face splattered with the ejaculations of several dozen men posted by the Copy Editor who will giggle all day at the prospect of people being made to want to wipe their computer screens clean of this orgasmic mess. For me it will just be a literary device intended to whet your appetite for more right wing lunacy. And here it is in the form of Burt Prelutsky and his admission that for once he does not know something. It seems that Prelutsky is annoyed with the beautiful people who have progressive leanings. He does not mind the Patricia Heatons and the Jim Caviezels of Hollywood and the entertainment world, but he is angered and confused to the point of name calling and foot stamping about Sheryl Crow, Sean Penn and Rosie O'Donnell. Simply put I think he dislikes these people more because they are right than because they are famous. Sean Penn by the way Mr Prelutsky is merely a better human being than you are or you could be if you lived to be 300. He is courageous enough in times when dissent is called treason by those whom you serve to call inaction cowardice. To this demon reporter that makes you a merely and old fat arrogant blowhard whose only goal is to line your pockets with the silver coins offered you to betray the truth. For the those blinded by ideology I imagine it is easy to pick Barabbas every time.


Third Strike

A special hello to World Net Daily's Chuck Norris. Wow! I never realized how many times you got kicked in the head. I will type this slowly so it will be very easy to read. Just because the average American does not want to have Protestant religion shoved down their throats 24/7 does not mean Christendom is under attack. It just means we want hacks like you to as Schwartz would put it, "Shut the Fuck up!" Bruce Lee would kick Chuck Norris ass right now, btw.



Cavalor Epthith, Esquire
Editor-in-Chief
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
104 Colnu 1 AS

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